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Extremely Secret Diary--Madame Hooch's Journal
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Below are the 13 most recent journal entries recorded in Extremely Secret Diary--Madame Hooch's LiveJournal:

Tuesday, September 9th, 2003
10:13 pm
City Lights, City Nights
It's nice being back in London. It reminds me of the wonderful days of my misspent youth. But that might just be Remus. After all, he was the one who turned me into the Wicked Witch that I am. He introdiced me to James. Who introduced me to sex, and all its dirty little facets. My very first Dom! He made me do such naughty things with and for and to his friends.


I miss those days.

The train ride down from Hogwarts was fairly uneventful. I managed to read through the rest of sirius's envelope to me. Pages and pages of limericks.Collapse )

I was laughing so hard my stomach hurt. Poor Remus, when he met me at the station and saw the tear tracks on my face, he thought there was something wrong. I tried to explain, but couldn't catch my breath. Every time I thought about it I just started laughing again. I finally just handed him the envelope & told him it was from Sirius. He glanced over it before tucking it into his pocket with a grin.

Then he helped me collect my luggage and we headed back to his flat.

He read the limericks while I was settling into his spare room. And apparently, he found one I had missed somehow:

A doggie, Sirius by name,
Tries out an exciting new game.
To the wolf he will play,
All sunny day,
And thus avoid all of the blame.

We wondered about that one for a bit. Remus is the only wolf he could have been meaning. Had he planned to come here for a visit before he died? It was very curious.

Anyway, Remus was gracious enough to spend the last few days playing Tour Guide and showing me around the city. So much has changed since I was here last. And yet, there is much that's the same.

Tomorrow we have plans to take in a show, but remus won't tell me which one. All he would say was that I had to dress elegantly.

You know... I'd forgotten how disappointing it was to learn that Remus wasn't the least bit interested in me physically. If he's half as good a lover as he is a date, I'd be in danger of swooning.

Ah. Dinner's ready.

Current Mood: happy

(1 licking | lick my boots)

Tuesday, August 26th, 2003
8:16 pm
At Loose Ends
Albus asked me at dinner tonight what my plans are for the Summer Holiday.

I didn't have an answer.

For the past several years, I would go rusticate with Poppy at this quaint little house her grandmother left her in Shropshire. Well... that's hardly an option this year, is it? I wonder what Severus will think of the place.

Nor can I go touring with Sirius as we had talked about. He had promised to show me some of the places he'd been hiding out since his escape from Azkaban. I had looked forward to riding on the back of a hippogryph. I've never done that before.

Too bad I don't have a place of my own. I'd always intended to buy some small piece of property somewhere. Some place with enough room that I could fly all I wanted without fear of being noticed by Muggles. I had thought Wales might serve, or perhaps Cornwall.

But once I'd become a teacher at Hogwarts, there'd never really been much need for that, so I never got around to doing it. And then there was Poppy.

I wonder if Remus still has that house on Skye. Or that place on the private cay in the Bahamas where we filmed those Tropical Paradise movies.

Perhaps I shall write him and ask if I might impose upon his hospitality...

Current Mood: discontent

(4 lickings | lick my boots)

Saturday, August 23rd, 2003
11:02 pm
Why did he use a CRAYON, anyway?
So… I finally managed to get myself to open that envelope from Sirius that Albus gave me. Inside it were a couple of handwritten pages folded together. I unfolded them, but decided I didn't want to risk being interrupted while I read them. Not that I thought Sirius would be putting anything that required privacy in writing, mind you. Just… I don't know. I missed the mangy mongrel and wanted some time alone to grieve. So I headed over to the Quidditch Pitch and ducked into the equipment room. No one should be looking for me there.

I couldn't help but laugh when I read the first page:Collapse )

It was charming, somehow. He'd tried to write a dirty limerick about us. I hoped the remaining pages were more successful than this first attempt. Even without his loss for the word "smooch" the first two lines didn't quite scan. But even so…

I started to turn to the next page when I heard a sound from out in the corridor. Turning off my lamp I peeked out into the hallway to see what it could have been.

There was a light coming from under the door to the Gryffindor Locker Room. Only members of the teams know the passwords to unlock the doors when there isn't a match going on, so it could only be one of seven students. But why would a student be here, and at this time of night?

Only one way to find out.Collapse )

Soon Virginia Weasley stepped out of the Bathing Room by herself, drying her hair with a towel. As she reached up with both arms, the towel wrapped around her torso slipped and I saw a frightening series of bruises. I must have gasped when I saw them, because she suddenly looked up at me. She was obviously horrified as she held the other towel in front of her body.

"Miss Weasley," I said. "Virginia. I would like to see you in my office as soon as you are dressed. There are …things… we must speak of." When she nodded, I left the Locker Room, giving the girl some obviously much-needed privacy.

I went into my office trying to determine the best way to approach the delicate subject of Virginia's bruises. Should I be blunt and ask straight out which boy had left those marks? Should I offer sympathy? Should I let her know that she isn't to blame for the assault? She did seem embarrassed and a bit ashamed, but she didn't seem distraught. And from the color of the marks, they were very recent, no more than two days old.

Before I could decide what approach to take, I was interrupted by the girl herself.

And so we talked.Collapse )

By the time we were done with our talk, it was fairly late and I was tired. I decided I shall read the rest of the limericks in bed. I can use a good laugh to send me off to sleep. And who knows? They may even inspire some interesting dreams.

I do miss Sirius.

Current Mood: excited

(lick my boots)

Sunday, August 17th, 2003
7:34 pm
Oh dear.... I just got this by owl. How dreadful.

I'll miss the old dog.

And mot just because he's a fantastic lay.

Current Mood: depressed

(lick my boots)

Sunday, August 3rd, 2003
10:52 pm
Married. Poppy Pomfrey is getting married. To Severus Snape of all people. I think I'm devastated. Not that she left me, mind you; I'd gotten used to that by now. But I thought this affair with him was just that. An affair. A fling.

And then she tells me that they announced their engagement to his parents. Albus and Minerva. That was even more shocking than the other. It's amazing that such a handsome couple could produce an offspring like him.

Perhaps Poppy's nurse's sensibilities about cleanliness and hygiene will improve his hair and complexion. I wonder if he cleans up nicely...

Current Mood: shocked

(lick my boots)

Sunday, June 29th, 2003
1:01 am
Well... I have to say I'm impressed with the students. I thought they'd have difficulties cooperating with each other for these flying drills --especially the ones from Slytherin. But instead, they're challenging each other to excel. And each and every one of them is living up to the challenge.

Though it seems there's more going on between Harry Potter & Draco Malfoy than just that. I wonder. Does Harry disapprove of Draco's relationship with Miss Weasley?

In any case, they're more than ready for Headmaster Dumbledore's Birthday Celebration.

Poppy is moving out of our apartments as soon as the term is over. I shall have to get used to living alone again.

I hate sleeping alone.

I wonder if I can convince Sirius to move out of the caves and into Hogwarts itself. Nothing permanent, of course. But just for a while.....

Current Mood: pensive

(lick my boots)

Sunday, May 18th, 2003
4:00 am
Love Me, Love My Dog.
Apparently, my last journal entry was rather ...prophetic.

I was having difficulty sleeping the other night. Unable to relax, I dressed and began "patrolling" the halls. It's not a required duty, but it seems there has been a bit of post-curfew activity lately, and Professor Dumbledore has asked us to see if we can get to the bottom of it.

Personally, I believe that it's Spring, and the children are beginning to respond to the Cycle. Feeling their oats, as it were.

In any case, I was heading in the direction of the kitchens for a nice hot toddy when I heard something down a lesser-used corridor. I sent up a quick flare of light and saw a dog.Collapse )

"Looks like it's be a bit wet outside, boy. Shall I keep you with me for the night? You'd prefer to be warm and dry rather than out in that mess, wouldn't you? And I could use the company. It seems my Poppy is sleeping ...elsewhere this evening."

The dog seemed to understand me. At least... it remained by my side as I climbed the stairs to the wing where my apartments were. As we entered the comfort of my sitting room, I realized that I really did enjoy having something to share it with. It seems that Poppy's defection had left me lonelier than I had thought.

I crossed to my bedroom, the dog following closely at my side.

I began talking to it as I got ready for bed, telling it about how it had been for me before Poppy's recent infatuation. How I missed having a warm body to wrap around in my sleep. How much I was taking comfort from its presence in my room.

But when I was undressed I decided I wasn't ready to turn in yet, so I sat on the floor and kept talking. The dog lay down beside me and placed its huge head in my lap.

And something changed.Collapse )


Suddenly I knew why the dog looked familiar. I had seen Sirius Black perform as a dog enough times to recognize his markings. And though I had never fluffed him in his animal form, I had seen him change for the camera more times than I can count.

I was amazed it took me so long to recognize him tonight.

I opened my eyes and looked again, to make sure it wasn't my imagination. And there he was, sitting cross-legged on the floor, watching me warily.

"Hello, Rolanda. It's been a while."

Moving the pillow, I sat up and faced him. "No need to worry, Sirius, I shan't turn you in. I never could make myself believe you'd betray James."

He looked relieved.

"But I believe that you are a bit overdressed....?"

He grinned and began removing his clothes. I took the opportunity to get off the floor and onto the bed. I'm not really partial to rug burns.

Sirius wasn't long in joining me there.

Caution! Explicit Sexual Content!Collapse )

After we found the strength to crawl under blankets we slept. For a while.

I know he won't risk coming to live in the castle. He believes it's easier to guard Harry and the rest of us from Hogsmeade, where he can see what's coming before it arrives at Hogwarts. But maybe I can convince him to come visit regularly.

Current Mood: tired

(lick my boots)

Sunday, May 11th, 2003
10:37 pm
How Very Annoying...
Arthur Weasley sent a an Urgent Owl to the school today, requesting the Headmaster's Presence at the Ministry Offices in London. We were all fairly stunned at first, and wondering what could possibly be so important. Had WhatHisFace emerged again with some new threat? Surely all his attacks in recent years have been directed here at Hogwarts.


As Minerva explained later, it was all a ruse.

She had wanted to call a Staff Meeting with Professor Dumbledore away so that she could discuss the plans for his Birthday Celebration.

You'd think that when a man has had as many birthdays as he has, another one wouldn't be so terribly important. But, apparently, she feels it is.

Not that I mind that, actually. He's a pretty cagey old Wizard and I do repect him tremendously. And, since Minerva had mentioned the celebration in passing before, I had considered some precision flying drills, such as they do in the RAF. I thought a team for each Year, made up of members from each House would be an unusual twist. The Houses aren't generally encouraged to work with each other, and this would force them to...

But as I entered the Staff Room, I saw Poppy and Severus tucked up all snug in a loveseat. She was practically sitting in his lap. It was a disgusting display; the pair of them all touchy-feely and looking at each other with doe-eyes. I thought I would cast up my accounts.

At first I had thought Poppy's little rebellion was an attention-getting device. I really hadn't been paying her as much notice as I do over the Summer Holiday. But now I think it might be something else entirely. I have stepped up the frequency of our sessions, but the higher levels of "discipline" have not been satisfying for either of us.

I think, perhaps, it is time to discuss the dissolution of our relationship.

After all, she's been having quite the merry time lately, what with Severus and the suspiciously fequent visit of Lucius Malfoy. While I... I have been left to my own devices. She hasn't been half so enthusiastic about servicing my needs as she has about those of her new beaux.

"Beau". That's a laugh. There is nothing beautiful about Severus, though I will admit that Lucius is remarkably tasty in the looks department.

Still... I haven't had any of my own fun in far too long.

I wonder... Would Poppy become jealous if she discovered I'd also taken a new lover?

But even if she weren't, I could still use a bit of relief. Sometimes I think I'll go mad if I don't find a way to have some mind-blowing animal sex, and soon.

I think I may just attack the next thing I set eyes on!!

Current Mood: horny

(lick my boots)

Thursday, May 1st, 2003
9:33 am
An Exercise in Futility
I kept Mr Longbottom after class today, trying to get to the bottom of this situation with Miss Weasley. When I suggested he stay a moment he visibly paled. "Not to worry, Mister Longbottom, you've not done anything wrong." That seemed to relax him a trifle, but not terribly much.

"You seem a bit..." nervous? frightened? anxious?... "distracted today, Mister Longbottom. I was wondering if there was anything bothering you; perhaps something you'd like to get off of your chest?"

At which point he turned crimson. "P-please don't say ch-chest, Madame Hooch."


The trouble between him and Miss Weasley is sexual in nature, then.Collapse )

I am so glad I shall never have to go through being a teenager again. It is such an unsettling time.

Current Mood: irritated

(lick my boots)

Monday, April 28th, 2003
5:42 am
How Curious
I was walking the grounds of the Quidditch Pitch one last time before turning in for the night --I do that regularly now, since that time I found the elder Creevey with his sick little photo album-- when I discover young Mistress Weasley asleep on one of the upper bleachers.

Poor dear looked thoroughly bedraggled, asleep in her school uniform with a stuffed animal for a pillow. She also had a book with her, a diary of some sort I would imagine.

I have a certain ...fondness... for the girl. She reminds me much of myself at that age, except that she is a Gryffindor and I was a Ravenclaw. But even so. She's intelligent, athletic, good-natured, and she'd be an amazing flyer if she could acquire a better broomstick. She does surprisingly well on that mouldy old Cleensweep handed down from her brother. And, from what I hear, she has developed a brazen side to her personality lately.

Good for her.

Ah... the things I could teach her, were she just a few years older.

I took pity on the poor girl.Collapse )

And now, to see if Poppy has returned from her little "pantry inventory" with Severus. As if she hasn't an exact tally of her available medical supplies in her head. I'm surprised they think me so gullible. I wonder whose idea this was, though. She'd never even thought to lie to me before taking up with him ...and Lucius.

Oh, to be a fly on the wall when Mister High & Mighty Malfoy finds out what company his son has been keeping lately...

Current Mood: amused

(lick my boots)

Saturday, April 5th, 2003
8:23 am
Well... That was interesting....
I knew that Poppy had been up to something lately. Or should that be someone? So I followed her the other night.

Right down to Severus Snape's chambers.

I have to admit, I was pretty stunned that she was servicing Severus. I wouldn't have thought him her type. Though she is suggestible, and there's not much she won't do when the request is made with sufficient force in the voice.

That's the only drawback with sharing quarters with a Sub.

Anyway, while I was trying to figure out what I was going to do about Poppy's ...indiscretion, I heard someone else coming down the corridor.

I ducked behind a statue, and saw none other than Lucius Malfoy. Malfoy? What was he doing here? Poppy had released his son from the Hospital Wing. And the students' rooms were on another level. So, I assumed he wasn't here to visit his child.

He knocked on Severus's door, but walked through it without waiting for a response.

"Happy Birthday, Lucius," I heard Snape say before the door closed, shutting off all sound from inside.

I decided I had better see what was going on. Poppy had been carrying a large covered ...something... when she entered Snape's rooms. Perhaps it was simply refreshments for a party.

Poppy is an excellent cook.

I walked into the room without knocking.

This is what I saw.Collapse )

After returning back to my own rooms, I realized that Poppy's absences coincided with at least two other times that Lucius was on campus. So I think I know where she was on those nights. But... there are still two other occasions unaccounted for.

Could she have been with Severus?

I see I shall have to ...discuss... this with him.

Current Mood: horny

(1 licking | lick my boots)

Sunday, March 30th, 2003
1:35 am
Well. Professor Sprout's students have finally finished their work on the Pitch. I'll admit it does look better than it has since Potter let those cats tear it up. However, I am told that it will be weeks before the bare patches fill in with soft cushiony grass. And there can be no Quidditch until the grass can support a fall without injuring the student.

So, I need to find another outlet for my athleticism.

Which reminds me...

The first time Poppy came to me and admitted she'd been used by someone else, I was surprised. I had thought that perhaps she'd felt I wasn't giving her enough attention, and indulged in a bit of rebellion in order to require being disciplined.

Poppy does like being disciplined.

But this has become a frequent occurrence lately, so I'm starting to think it may be more than just a bid for attention.

And last night --or should I say this morning-- she came back to our rooms smeared with chocolate. Chocolate!

I am allergic to chocolate.

When I asked her about it, between the paddling and the crop, she said it was for Lucius Malfoy's birthday party.

Well! We shall see about that!

Current Mood: annoyed

(1 licking | lick my boots)

Sunday, March 16th, 2003
3:18 am
Of all the nerve!
Well! I never!!!

I understand that Harry felt he needed to get those silly beasts away from the people of Hogwarts. But there was no need for him totake them where he did.

Those creatures destroyed my Quidditch Pitch.

I should pink his bottom for that!!!

Of course, our Headmaster sees it differently, and awarded him sufficient house points to bring the Gryffindors out of negative numbers. I'll bet Minerva is just thrilled to death over that.

But what I'd like to know is...


I must find an outlet for my frustrations.

I wonder how long until Poppy is free......

Current Mood: enraged

(3 lickings | lick my boots)

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